its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
