Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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