Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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