She announced her abortion via fbk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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