Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
