haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm always down for nudity.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
