I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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