I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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