I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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