ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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