so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
