fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
