Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
