dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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