since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
