So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
