Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
