also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
