it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You pole danced in your parka.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
