I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
