I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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