The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
