marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
