I met the friendliest cop last night
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
