You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
