Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
