Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
