No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
