Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
