I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
