How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
