To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
