my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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