I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
