ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
