Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
