If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
