I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize