I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
