My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
