He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
