i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
