You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So much rum. So many feels.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
