GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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