I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
