D3 body, D1 cock
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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