paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
