I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
