But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
