I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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